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The Interfaith Community recognizes that open and diverse societies pose new opportunities and new challenges for today's families. We work to help families nurture religious traditions and connect to supportive communities. Articles and sites of interest are provided here to clarify the philosophy and background of the Interfaith Community and to provide a grounding in those developments which support interfaith families in their unprecedented journeys. Symposium on Educating Jewish-Christian Families On March 19, 2007, the Interfaith Community held a special symposium in New York City. Our goal was ambitious: to change the way people - especially clergy and other religious professionals -- think about interfaith families. To read a short summary of the event please click here. To read our full report on this event click here. Interfaith Community in the News TheInterfaith Community was featured in Julie Wiener's "In The Mix" editorial column in The Jewish Week. Ms. Wiener visted our Long Island chapter's children's classes and spoke with families there as well as with Sheila Gordon and our advisor Carol Ingall. Read her column here. NPR featured the Interfaith Community in its respected "News and Notes" radio program. Members of the IFC's New York City chapter -- Dara Diomande-Pincas and Oded Pincas -- were interviewed about their interfaith/inter-racial marriage for a segment in a series on faith in the African-American community. Listen to the segment from the show here. The Saturday, April 7 NEW YORK TIMES' highly respected "Religion Journal" took an in-depth look at how one of our long-standing member couples, Chris and Carrie Boova, handle the significant theological differences raised by Easter and Passover. Read the article, "A Difficult Journey of Devotion to One Faith and to a Spouse of Another Faith," here. Also on April 7, PUBLIC RADIO STATION WFUV in New York interviewed members Tania and George Cade for their "Cityscapes" feature, which is available by podcast here. On March 26, THE JOURNAL NEWS (the daily newspaper serving a quarter-million people in the Lower Hudson region) led with a cover story on the Interfaith Community. The story is available through their archives for a small fee; click here and choose "Rockland group provides education, support for Jewish-Christian families." Should "mixed" marriages be "unmixed"? - the conversion issue Of real significance to interfaith families is a front page article that appeared in the Sunday, Feb. 12th NY Times -- "Reform Jews Hope to Unmix Mixed Marriages." It described a new focus of the Reform movement to encourage conversion among non-Jewish spouses who are helping to raise their children as Jews. The article featured the Larchmont (NY) Temple and Temple members (Anique and Joshua Olivier-Mason, who also are long-standing members of the Interfaith Community.) Though she was not quoted in the article, the chair of our Westchester chapter, Ruby Engel, was a primary "interfaith" source for the article. She, herself, is an active member of Larchmont Temple and introduced Interfaith Community members, Anique and Josh Olivier-Mason to the Times (and to also becoming members of the Larchmont Temple). The article, unfortunately, did not refer to the Interfaith Community, nor to the role we play in connecting families to churches and synagogues - nor did it fully clarify the concerns we have about an emphasis on conversion. Our perspective is essentially that many interfaith families do not want to be "unmixed" and are concerned that a more active push toward conversion could make the non-Jewish spouses feel more alien in a synagogue setting. We think it is appropriate that synagogues support individuals who wish to convert. There is, however, a very fine line between encouragement and pressure. This issue underscores the need for our organization as "a safe and neutral space for Jewish-Christian families." Several of our members -independently -- tried to make our reaction to the article heard by writing letters to the editor. ( But Cheney's shot gun trumped interfaith families!) Accordingly, we provide here the unpublished letters, as well as Ruby Engel's initial statement to the reporter. To the editor: "Reform Jews Hope to Unmix Mixed Marriages" (2/12) outlines a new focus on encouraging conversion for non-Jews in interfaith marriages. While we agree that converts should be welcomed and celebrated, we also know that conversion is not an option for many. In fact, a growing number of interfaith couples, committed to respect and fairness in marriage, believe that they can be "mixed" and still nurture Jewish continuity. They are thoughtfully carving out new paths to help them stay connected to their religious heritages; their passion and resourcefulness can be a strength for Judaism. The Interfaith Community, a New York based educational organization, is proud to support these families in their journeys and to help them learn about and engage with their traditions. Sheila C. Gordon and Ruby A. Engel To the Editor: Re: "Reform Jews Hope to Unmix Mixed Marriages": Subtle or overt, pressure is pressure. My Protestant boyfriend (now husband) felt the pressure to convert during a four month Introduction to Judaism class we took at the Union for Reform Judaism six years ago. Before this experience he was interested in learning and participating in my religion, afterwards, much less so. I understand the importance of our infant son having a Jewish identity, but that connection will come from parents who participate and demonstrate all that is good about Judaism, not from the Reform Jewish community exerting pressure on my husband to convert. Julie Slotnik Sturm To the Editor:
Letter from Ruby Engel, Chair, Interfaith Community of Westchester, to NYTimes journalist Michael Luo as he was doing background work for the article. Dear Mike, Regarding Rabbi Eric Yoffie's speech to the Union of Reform Judaism about conversion, I absolutely respect the right of synagogues to encourage conversion, when applicable, and to celebrate converts or the non-Jewish partners who have chosen a Jewish path for their families. Not only do I respect it, I think it is perfectly appropriate. Moreover, in thinking about this issue, I believe that what underlies this renewed call to increase efforts at conversion is ultimately a concern about Jewish continuity, which I share. But while the paths described above are valid, laudable ways for interfaith families to help achieve this goal, I would argue there are others as well. Simply put: there are some families, like my own, for whom conversion or picking one faith is simply not an option. Yet, maintaining and nurturing a connection with Judaism in their family life is still a priority for them. The question then becomes, what is reform Judaism to do with these families? Many of these families may drift away from synagogues because of concern that they might be marginalized or worse, unwelcomed. Finding a spiritual home and Jewish religious community to belong to at Larchmont Temple has been a vital piece of the puzzle for me and my family. I feel strongly that this was possible for us because of the Outreach programming our temple provides, addressing the specific needs of interfaith families in the congregation. The very existence of this type of program in my temple assures me and my family that we do belong there and have a place in that vibrant religious community. And it make us want to participate in temple life even more. However, if the thrust of Outreach were to change and become focused on conversion, then I would feel differently. It would probably make my husband less comfortable at temple and make me wonder whether we, as a family with two religions in our home, do, in fact, belong there. It is a balancing act that is required. "Asking the question" about conversion is fair game; however, as even Rabbi Yoffie states, "Ask, but do not pressure." Such pressure could have the unintended effect of alienating the very people they are trying to bring into the fold. I believe it is vitally important for synagogues to act as a welcoming resource and religious community for dual faith families. Note that this is not the same thing as celebrating or endorsing that path of "doing both" - that is not what I would expect. However, isn't supporting a Jewish connection in these families better than alienating them completely? After all, with the large percentage of Jews intermarrying today, their children represent many of tomorrow's potential Jews-by-choice. If they enjoy their participation in a welcoming Jewish community as children, and grow up feeling comfortable there, who knows how that may ultimately shape their religious choices in adulthood? I apologize for going on at length about this, but Rabbi Yoffie's speech did strike a chord with me. In addition to addressing the question of conversion, he is very negative about dual religion families and dual education which I take issue with. As a research psychologist by profession, I know of no well-designed research studies that document his assertion that raising children with two religions in the home and educating them about both of their heritages is "harmful…to the child." In fact, I know of much research that finds the opposite: for example, interfaith children are as well-adjusted as their single faith counterparts (Whitcomb, 1996) and score higher on measures of self-esteem and self-actualization than those raised with two Jewish or two Catholic parents (Grossman, 1990). While I agree that enrolling children in both a Hebrew school and a Christian Sunday school is not a good idea because of the contradictions that will inevitably come up, a religious curriculum that educates children in a fair, respectful and non-doctrinaire way, such as the one developed by the Interfaith Community, will not confuse the child. Anecdotally speaking, we see confusion arise in children as a result of parental confusion or lack of knowledge about religion. Lack of education and religious knowledge fosters confusion; interfaith education allows interfaith children to put their parents' religious beliefs into a broader context. As you know, my children will receive their religious education from the Interfaith Community, a growing, independent organization that specifically addresses the needs of interfaith families. In this program, the children are not taught what to believe, but they are given the literacy and comfort that they need to feel at home in and develop their own relationships to Jewish and Christian traditions and to God. The Community also provides a supportive and vibrant community for this process of learning, questioning, and engagement to take place. As such, it plays a crucial role in my family's religious life. As does Larchmont Temple. As does St. John's Episcopal Church. Each serves a different function for us, and I have found that we need all three to help meet my family's spiritual, communal, and educational needs. I hope I have answered your questions and have helped you with your article. I look forward to seeing your article when you are finished! Sincerely, In addition, we have heard from several of our Christian clergy and advisers, including the following thoughtful response.
As a member of the steering committee of Presbyterians Concerned for Jewish Christian Relations, I and my Presbyterian colleagues have been working for the past two years to squelch Presbyterian support of and funding for Messianic congregations as well as what we believe to be the misguided policy of selective divestment from companies doing business in Israel. We are acutely aware of the pain and consternation felt within Jewish communities and denominations across the country as a result of actions taken by our national General Assembly in 2004.
Thus far, we have met with some successes as the Presbyterian Church has cancelled its support for congregation Avodat Israel in Philadelphia, PA. Our opposition to messianic congregations stems from our belief that it is NOT appropriate for Christians to target Jews for conversion. Yes, both Jews and Christians should present their faith traditions in the most positive and appealing ways, and this would include welcoming inquirers and seekers into our congregations. But with respect to Jews, it is clear to many of us that we have as much to learn from Jews as we have to teach. Or putting it theologically, God's covenants are eternal.
This coming June our General Assembly will be facing another moment of decision with many of us working to reverse the divestment policy, while others are organizing in support of divestment. We expect the debate to be vigorous and the vote close.
In this context it was a surprise to read the New York Times report that some leaders within the Reformed movement were thinking about a strategy of "unmixing" mixed marriages by working to convert the Christian partners in these marriages to Judaism. While conversion may make sense to some individuals in some marriages, maintaining multiple religious identity may seem more appropriate for other couples. This, clearly, is one of the most complicated and personal decisions some couples may face during the course of building a family. And equally clearly, as pastoral leaders, both rabbis and ministers must proceed in these matters with extreme sensitivity and respect for the "religious other" who may be a partner in such marriages.
I don't think any one solution fits all. But I would say to my Jewish friends and colleagues ... as you well know, there are many among my Christian friends and colleagues who don't need further encouragement to launch renewed efforts at evangelization, aimed at Jews in particular. This, in fact, was a large part of what concerned so many of us about Avodat Israel.
Presbyterians are as concerned about "continuity" as are Jews. Jewish and Presbyterian families have one huge thing in common: low birth rates. And with that, declining numbers. Indeed, many of us share the sense of crisis articulated by some Jewish leaders. The solution cannot be to enter into a competition to recruit new converts from among those who are serious about maintaining a dual identity. Clearly, if we are to target any group for conversion, the greatest opportunity is to reactivate those of our own traditions who are currently unaffiliated or inactive. The second most important opportunity is to communicate the positive value of commitment to those who have no identity or tradition. These two groups may in fact be the fastest growing segments of the US population. Why don't we work together pooling our experience and sharing strategies in this effort where the greatest opportunities for growth are to be found?
Rev. Charles Henderson, Executive Director, Cross Currents, and steering committee member, Presbyterians Concerned for Jewish-Christian Relations
This year, for the first time since 1978, the first night of Hanukkah fell on Christmas day. The media was eager to explore the challenges this posed for Jewish/Christian families. And so… NBC'S TODAY SHOW did a segment on Friday morning, December 23 featuring the Interfaith Community. THE NEW YORK TIMES did a feature story on the front page of its Metro section on December 20. USA TODAY interviewed our members for a special column on December 7. JTA/JEWISH TELEGRAPH AGENCY featured an article on the Interfaith Community and its groundbreaking curriculum as the lead article on its website home page: WESTCHESTER JEWISH CHRONICLE'S December issue did a cover story and two-page spread, with Westchester Interfaith Community chair, Ruby Engel, and her beautiful family on the cover. NEW JERSEY JEWISH STANDARD featured us in its December 23 issue. FUJI TV, one of Japan's major networks, filmed the Christmas/Hanukkah service and celebration in Manhattan. We were also interviewed by the Chicago Sun Times, the Denver Post, and the Valley News (Lebanon, NH).
And in 2004...
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